I thought long and hard about whether and how to review Chiangmai, and especially what rating to give it, because the problem that I have with it doesn't really fall into any of the categories of "Quality", "Service", or "Value".

On the one hand, my personal experience, which involved several visits over two or three years, has been consistently good. I wrote a review of Chiangmai on Urbanspoon in February 2011 singing its praises. On the other hand, I stopped eating there a few months ago, because evidence has come to light that management is engaging in an unsavoury practice. I cannot confirm this first-hand, and for a long time I didn't want to believe it, but the evidence became so overwhelming that I couldn't ignore it anymore.

So rather than just say "I don't think you should go there", I have decided to submit to WOMO the most fair and balanced review that I can, giving both sides, so that you can make up your own mind.

Here are the reasons why I became fond of Chiangmai and kept on returning there over a period of two or three years:

I like the food. The entrees, salads and curries are fresh-tasting and well-cooked, with lively, zingy flavours. You can taste all the separate notes that make up good Thai cooking - hot, sweet, sour, salty. The minced chicken salad is a personal favourite.

There's only one main meal I've ever ordered that I haven't liked, and that's the pad thai. You should be able to taste all the different ingredients in a pad thai - the chicken, the egg, the peanuts, the coriander, the chilli. This one tasted of not much other than noodle. It had muddy flavours and a stodgy texture. But to be fair, it's the only dish that I haven't liked, and I haven't eaten a really good pad thai anywhere for years, since Thai Na Palace in Brunswick closed. The pad thai across the road at Ying Thai is even worse than Chiangmai's.

I don't normally bother with desserts at Asian restaurants, but the ones at Chiangmai are worth making an exception for. There is an excellent mango ice-cream, and a truly swoon-inducing coconut ice-cream. I have cravings for it now - and I'm not even all that fond of coconut! It has a glorious creamy texture, studded with chunks of what I think is fresh coconut, and it has the most intense coconut flavour. If you choose to eat here, and you like coconut, give it a try. Another dessert I was very impressed by was a pumpkin custard, from the specials board. We're not really accustomed to eating pumpkin in sweet dishes here in Australia, so I was a bit dubious about ordering it, but I'm glad I did - it worked brilliantly.

Service at Chiangmai could be improved - it's polite and friendly, but also hesitant and slightly nervous, and some of the waiters don't speak English all that well. They're also occasionally very slow to bring some of the meals out. On one occasion my companions had almost finished their mains, and I was still waiting for mine, when the waiter came and told me that they'd run out of my main, could I order something else? I was not pleased. Restaurants do run out of certain dishes, but the time to tell the patrons that is at the time of ordering, or very soon after - NOT when their companions are almost finished eating.

So that's my personal experience. On balance, it was good. I went back many times, and enjoyed almost every meal I ate there. Now I'll tell you the rest.

Chiangmai is a participant in discount voucher schemes (from Living Social, Scoopon, and the like). To use these vouchers, the customer is meant to make a booking, and is meant to state at the time of making the booking that they have a voucher. Nothing wrong with that so far.

But if you look up Chiangmai on Urbanspoon, you'll find no less than SIX separate reviews, dated June 2011 to September 2011, from people who have dined there with a voucher and who claim that Chiangmai keeps two separate menus, one set with inflated prices that they hand out to voucher holders, that effectively wipe out the value of the discount. (According to one reviewer, "grilled chicken cost $6.90 more on the fake menu".) It is alleged that staff get very annoyed when the customer fails to mention the voucher until they're paying the bill, which is hardly surprising, because from management's point of view, the customer was given the "wrong" menu to order from.

One reviewer on Urbanspoon tried to defend Chiangmai by saying that these disgruntled reviewers are mistaken - it's only that Chiangmai has different menus for lunch and dinner, with smaller portions and cheaper prices on the lunch menu, he said. Red herring. It's quite true that there's a cheaper weekday lunch menu - I've known that for ages. But what the unhappy reviewers are talking about here is not the difference between lunch and dinner. They claim that voucher holders and non-voucher holders are charged different prices for the SAME food served at the SAME sitting.

I read one of these customer complaints on Urbanspoon back in June, and my first thought was, "Customer with a grudge. Probably didn't like the curry, or something." I really didn't want to believe that a restaurant I liked so much was engaging in a dishonest practice.

Then I read a second review. "Make that two customers with a grudge," I thought, a bit more uncomfortably. Then the third one. By this time, it was getting difficult to ignore, but I was still in denial.

Finally came the fourth review, in July. This one set out in more detail the customer's experience, and I found their evidence convincing. This customer had not mentioned the voucher until after they'd been handed the menu, and when the bill arrived, the prices were higher than the ones they had remembered seeing on the menu earlier. The total bill was more than $30 higher. They queried this, and were handed a menu matching the prices on the bill. Convinced it wasn't the same menu they'd seen earlier, they borrowed a menu from diners at a nearby table, compared the prices on the two menus, and found they were different. This, they say, proves beyond a doubt that there is a dual-menu pricing structure going on here.

This is the review that finally convinced me. Since then, there have been two more with similar complaints, the most recent dated Sep 2011. I find it hard to believe all these different people are mistaken or lying, although I encourage you to read their reviews and decide for yourself, rather than just accept my paraphrasing of them.

Here's another piece of evidence that would seem to support the allegations. On Chiangmai's website, each item on the weekday lunch menu has a price next to it. But none of the items on the main menu do. (The main menu is the one used for weekend lunches and dinner every night.) There's just a general range of prices at the top of this main menu: entrees $6.90 to $14.90, mains $14.90 to $25.90. Have you ever in your life seen a restaurant that took the trouble to put its entire menu online, listing every food item available, but without individual prices? I certainly haven't. Restaurants either put the full menu online, with prices, or they don't bother to put the menu online at all. And even if they wanted to keep prices a secret, then why put the individual LUNCH menu prices online, but not the dinner ones? Is it mere coincidence that discount vouchers can only be used with the dinner menu? Chiangmai's decision not to put its individual dinner prices online implies that the restaurant is trying to give itself a bit of leeway to fiddle prices when the customer actually arrives, by preventing customers from looking up the website beforehand, noting down the prices, and comparing them with the menu they're given. It's not definitive proof, but all the circumstantial evidence is adding up.

If these allegations are true, then Chiangmai is engaging in a deceitful and disgraceful practice, of which they should be ashamed. Discount vouchers aren't meant to be an opportunity to rip off unsuspecting customers. They're meant to get new customers through the door in the hope that they'll return in future and pay full price. I don't see how it can possibly be to a restaurant's advantage to give customers the impression that "full price" is more expensive than it really is. Even if the customers liked the food and didn't detect the dual-menu scheme, there's every chance they'll decide not to return because they can't afford the inflated prices that they believe are the restaurant's normal prices. The managers are also very foolish to believe that they could get away with it in this internet age. Word gets round very quickly, especially on review sites such as WOMO and Urbanspoon.

I should mention that I have never used a discount voucher, at ANY restaurant, and I probably never will. So you could quite reasonably say that I have no first-person, direct experience of any dual-menu scheme, and you'd be right. The only evidence I have is hearsay evidence. But balanced against that is the fact that because I've never been the victim of any such dishonesty, I have no personal axe to grind here. I'm not seeking to get my own back on a restaurant I just happened not to like. Quite the opposite: learning about this dual-menu scheme has been personally upsetting to me; it's taking place at a restaurant that I like very much, and I've found it very hard to accept that fact.

But I believe in fair play. I'm not prepared to look the other way while people get ripped off. I therefore made the difficult decision not to return to Chiangmai until I see evidence, either on this site or on Urbanspoon, that management have ceased this dishonest practice and are treating all customers fairly, whether they have a voucher or not. I've yet to see any such evidence. I've yet to even see a response from Chiangmai's management. This is sad. I'd love to return to Chiangmai. There are often two sides to a dispute, and I'm prepared to listen to Chiangmai's side. I want to believe that all these reviewers are wrong, that there's some other explanation for all this. I'm even prepared to forgive and forget if the allegations turn out to be true, provided Chiangmai expresses contrition and states that they will now treat all customers fairly. But so far, nothing.

So if you're thinking of eating at Chiangmai, I encourage you to read the reviews here, and then the ones on Urbanspoon - all of them, to get a balanced picture, because Chiangmai has as many fans as it does critics - and then make up your own mind.

It pains me to say it, but Key on the Wall is just not the place it used to be now that the Guida brothers have gone.

For a long, long time - at least 10 years - I counted this restaurant among my very favourites, and would have given it a 5-star rating without hesitation. Frank Guida ran the kitchen, and produced some of my favourite Italian dishes anywhere. I particularly loved the Gnocchi Quattro Formaggi. The gnocchi were superbly light and fluffy, and the whole dish was finished off under the grill, giving it a beautiful golden-brown colour and toasty cheese aroma. The lobster soup was another favourite - a wonderfully aromatic dish.

Giovanni Guida worked front of house, and was one of the most welcoming, attentive, and thoroughly professional waiters I've encountered anywhere in Melbourne. I and my friends ate at Key on the Wall regularly, and Giovanni got to know us, our likes and dislikes, so much so that we hardly needed the menu when we walked in. He knew, for instance, that I always ordered an entree-size pasta rather than a main - I didn't need to say so. He knew what we all liked to drink, and would practically have it on the table the minute we sat down.

However, it seems that much that was good about Key on the Wall was due to the Guida brothers themselves, and now that they've handed the place over to new owners, it just isn't the same.

The service is still polite, but hesitant and awkward. For instance, when I ate there for lunch recently, the waitress got confused and placed the dish I had ordered in front of one of my friends. This would be a forgivable error if the restaurant were crowded and the pace hectic, but it was almost empty. There's really no excuse for it - it's just a lack of concentration. Giovanni would have been appalled.

The menu is still the same, but the food is not the same quality as it used to be. I ordered one of my favourite calamari dishes, and it just wasn't as good as it was when Frank was in charge.

Overall it wasn't bad, and it could be that the new owners are still finding their feet after the changeover. I will still go back and give it another go. If they can produce Gnocchi Quattro Formaggi as good as Frank made it, that would be enough to keep me going back. But whereas before I would have given Key on the Wall a 5-star rating, I can now only give it 2. Judging by my most recent visit, it's now just an OK restaurant, rather than a favourite. And as a just-OK restaurant, it's going to have an uphill battle to stay afloat, because there are plenty of just-OK restaurants competing with it in Lygon St, along with several better-than-OK ones. Key on the Wall survived for so long because it was special. How long it can survive now it's not so special, I don't know.

I wish I'd known the Guidas were planning to leave, so I could have said goodbye properly, but if they are reading this: Giovanni and Frank, thank you for the magnificent food and service you gave us over so many years. You are greatly missed.

UPDATE 25 Jan 2012: I ate at Key on the Wall again today, and it continues its slide ever downwards.

New menu. Several of my old favourites, including the Gnocchi Quattro Formaggi, have gone, replaced with the standard "mix and match" pasta and sauce combinations that are my pet hate in Italian restaurants. As well, the prices have gone way, way upwards - and this for a place that was never one of Lygon St's cheapest anyway.

Service was awkward, bordering on inept. The waiter gave us the menus and then remained standing there, hovering uncomfortably close to us as we read them - and naturally, as it was a new menu that we were encountering for the first time, it took some time to read. I was so intimidated by the waiter's hovering, practically at my elbow, that I actually considered asking him to please move away and come back in a few minutes. I've never had to do that before; most waiters know that they should keep a polite distance until it's clear the customers are ready to order. When we finally did order, the waiter seemed to be so unfamiliar with the menu that he didn't recognise what we were asking for - we had to point to each item on the menu as we ordered it, as if to show him that it really was one of the dishes they were offering, and we weren't just making it up. He was painfully slow at writing down the orders, and after he'd written them down, he asked each of us "entree or main course size?", even though we'd already told him. It was excruciating.

When he brought the dishes out, he stood there holding the plates, unable to remember who had ordered which one, and we had to remind him. (There were only three of us, in an almost empty restaurant, so it shouldn't have been that difficult.)

I ordered the Penne Tonno - $19.50 for an entree size. Out came a huge serving of penne, so large I thought they'd delivered a main course size by mistake. It was topped with a niggardly amount of spring onions and tuna - perhaps the equivalent of two or three tablespoonsful all up. Now, technically, you wouldn't go hungry - it was a lot of pasta to get through. On the other hand, maybe you WOULD go hungry, because the dish was so unbalanced - too much pasta, too little sauce - that it was dreary and unappetising. It was crying out for more flavour. I ended up leaving a lot of it, not because I was full, but because I'd already eaten the tiny amount of tuna that was there, and the rest was so dull that I just couldn't face the idea of eating any more of it.

The final nail in the coffin was the fact that the waiter didn't offer parmesan, in spite of the fact that food was so bland that it was in desperate need of parmesan to add some flavour. We had to ask for parmesan.

Poor food, poor service. That does it. I've lowered my rating from two stars to one, and I'm unlikely to go back. I hope the new management changes the name of this place, because I'd hate to think people are continuing to eat here based on the good reputation that the old Key on the Wall had.

This is a Szechuan restaurant, and for those people unfamiliar with the cuisine, that means hot. Very hot. Think chillies and Szechuan peppercorns with everything. Well, perhaps not quite everything; more on that later.

I can tolerate a little chilli, but probably less than most people. Certainly less than my friends, several of whom are serious chilli-heads. The sort who wouldn't hesitate to have a chilli-eating contest if the opportunity arose.

I've eaten at No.1 Delicious five or six times. Our group usually consists of about 8-10 people, and I can confidently say that this place copes well with a table that size, although I do recommend that you book. We usually order a dozen or so dishes to share. The first few dishes come out very quickly, and the rest follow at a comfortable, steady pace.

I'm afraid I can't tolerate the very hottest dishes on the menu. My friends love a particular chicken dish - I think it's Saute Diced Chicken with Chilli Sauce and Peanut - that just makes my eyes water. There's a deep fried prawn one with a substantial chilli and pepper kick as well.

But my friends take pity on me, and include some dishes which aren't hot at all - and very nice they are too. We always order some dumplings (there are various porky dumpling varieties, plus a vegetarian one), and although not quite as good as others I've tried, such as Shark Fin's, they are quite acceptable. The spring onion pancake and the layered crispy Chinese pancake are very good, and not at all hot.

I have two favourite eggplant dishes that I insist we order every time. (Yes, both of them at once. No such thing as too much eggplant.) They are Saute Eggplant in Spicy Garlic Sauce, and Spicy Eggplant, Beancurd, and Potato Stir Fry. The first dish is splendidly garlicky, and will have people backing away from you for days. The potato in the second dish is in the form of shoestring chips, which sounds a bit weird, but actually works very well. And the eggplant in both dishes is gloriously soft and unctuous, exactly as eggplant should be. Both dishes have a little chilli warmth, but it's comparatively mild and I can handle it with no problem.

Another dish regularly ordered by our group is the BaFu Fragrant Duck. I can't comment on that one personally because I don't like duck, but my friends are very enthusiastic about it and it disappears pretty quickly.

Although Szechuan cuisine will never be my favourite of the various Chinese cuisines, I always come away from No. 1 Delicious well pleased with what I've eaten, and especially pleased at what it cost. It's excellent value for money. Even the BaFu Duck is inexpensive: at the time of writing, $26 for a whole duck, $18 for a half.

If you're a chilli fiend like my friends are, there's a good chance you'll like this place very much. If you're not a chilli fiend but you've been reluctantly dragged along by someone who is, then don't despair - I can assure you that there are a few things on the menu (and the waiter could possibly help you find a few more) that won't make you feel like your tongue is on fire. Not all that many - it is Szechuan cuisine, after all - but at least enough that you shouldn't go away hungry.

I love Abla's. I just adore it. I don't eat there very often, because it's beyond my budget as a regular eating place, but it's a perfect special occasion place.

If you're unfamiliar with the food, order the banquet, but be careful not to fill up on the Lebanese bread that comes with the dips. As you work your way through the courses, keep reminding yourself that the chicken and rice dish is still to come, so that you save some room for it. It's listed last on the banquet menu, it has always been the dish they've brought out last, just before the sweets and coffee, and it can look very daunting if you're already full by the time it arrives.

If you're ordering the banquet, I recommend going with a group so that you can trade dishes if there's something you don't like. For example, I'm not a fan of chicken wings. Not just Abla's - hers are as good as any and probably better than most. I just think they're a waste of space generally, no matter who cooks them. Too much skin and bone, and not enough meat to be worth bothering with. But I recognise I'm a tiny minority in this regard, and most people are crazy about chicken wings. That's fine. You can have my share of the chicken wings, and I'll have your loubyeh (green beans in a tangy tomato sauce). This is my single favourite dish. I could eat it by the truckload - and I don't usually even like green beans that much! I never cook them at home, but I would make an exception if only I had Abla's recipe.

The banquet is clearly designed to be a crowd-pleaser, and contains, I think, many of the dishes that most people would have selected from the a la carte menu anyway, such as falafel, tabbouleh, and dips. The falafel are the best Lebanese-style falafel I've had anywhere, although I have to admit that, given a choice, my preference is for Egyptian-style falafel made with broad beans instead of chickpeas. But as an example of their type, Abla's falafel can't be faulted.

The baba ghanoush, kibbee, makaneek, silverbeet rolls, ladies' fingers, and tabbouleh are all uniformly excellent. The chicken and rice dish is tasty and aromatic, although the chicken on one occasion was a little dry, I think from being overcooked slightly - not enough to totally spoil the dish, but something they need to watch out for in the kitchen.

The baklawa and turkish delight I've been told are fine, although by the time they show up, I'm too full to even look at them. So I smile magnanimously at my dining companions and offer them my share of the dessert. They think I'm being generous. I don't tell them I'm simply stuffed to the gills and would explode like Mr Creosote if I ate one more thing. If I really wanted my share, I'd probably ask for a doggy bag - turkish delight and baklawa are not things that are likely to spoil - but I'm diabetic, so really shouldn't be eating them anyway, and since I've already eaten a splendid meal, it's no great hardship to give them away.

To add the finishing touch to a perfect night, Abla Amad herself invariably comes out of the kitchen to greet you. I always feel I'm in the presence of a Melbourne legend. Long may she continue to reign over her kitchen.

This is my favourite sushi place in the CBD. Very good quality fish, expertly sliced, and at amazingly low prices. I've paid much more elsewhere for sashimi which hasn't been as good as this. They also have a very good variety of things in their sushi packs. My favourite packs are the Salmon Deluxe Bento and the Yoyogi Roll.

Their non-sushi dishes are pretty good too. I can't remember what the proper names are of the dishes I've tried, and there's no online menu, but I've tried a steak dish with rice, the teriyaki chicken, and a couple of noodle dishes, and all were excellent. The tempura and gyoza were pretty good too - not the very best I've ever had, but certainly more than acceptable at the price.

A small nitpick - they don't seem to grasp the concept of sharing, which is unusual for an Asian restaurant. I tell them when I order that my companion and I will be sharing all the dishes, yet the dishes they bring out don't naturally lend themselves to sharing, and the wait staff don't think to bring any extra plates. I invariably have to ask for an extra plate.

Service also tends to be fairly abrupt. Not rude, exactly - more a noisy, slam-the-plates-down-on-the-table sort of abruptness. I'm sure there's no intention to be rude; it's merely a no-frills sort of service. Maybe I notice it more because it's such a contrast to the quiet, gentle sort of service I'm accustomed to at other Japanese places I visit, such as Yamabuki in Williamstown and Shinjuku in Brunswick. Then again, at Yoyogi's prices it would be asking a bit much to expect five-star service. The food more than makes up for the lack of refinement in the service.

The atmosphere can be quite chaotic at busy times, but amazingly, they've never made a mistake with my order, and they manage to get everything on the table surprisingly quickly. I often eat here if I'm in need of a very quick meal before going to a show. I've never been late for the show, and I've never been disappointed by the meal.

I don't understand why Toto's is so popular. It's not really bad; it's just ordinary. Sure, it's inexpensive. But there isn't a single dish I've seen on the menu that I can't get elsewhere, equally inexpensively, and done much better.

Toto's makes much of the fact that it was the first. Go look at their web page; it's headed "Toto's Pizza House - First in Australia". That may be true, but it's a fairly feeble claim. While you're on their web page, have a look at their menus. Pizza menu: the usual suspects: Marinara, Aussie, "Vegeterian" [sic], "Capriciosa" [sic]. Nothing interesting. Pasta menu: similarly dull. The pumpkin lasagne's the only thing I can get even vaguely excited about. If the execution of these dishes were outstanding, I could forgive a fairly ordinary menu, but it's not. Everything I've tried so far (over at least three or four visits) has been fairly forgettable, and I'm really not inclined to favour them with another visit just to see if there's some hidden gem on the menu that I haven't tried yet.

Toto's may have been worth a visit back in the days when it was the only pizza restaurant in Australia, but now I think they're just trading on past glories.

It's also not a good look for a business to have spelling mistakes on its website. You'd think that for a place that claims to have been around since 1961, they'd have learnt by now how to spell the names of their most iconic pizzas.

When buying equipment such as computers, service is much more important to me than price. I'm not especially interested in shopping around for the best deal. I'd rather go somewhere I can trust, not only for good advice at the time of purchase, but also for good follow-up service. So far TECS has delivered both.

I'm not a computer novice; I used to work in IT. In fact, I was working as a programmer before some of you people reading this were probably born. But I find it useful, when dealing with computer suppliers and ISPs, to give them the impression that I'm a complete novice. I have to be careful not to take it too far - saying "and that thing is what you call a mouse, is it?" would probably be stretching their credulity a bit too far - but I must be a reasonably good actor because so far I haven't been rumbled. (Or if I have been, no one has said so.)

I have found it useful to pretend to know less than I do for three reasons. The first is that there are some things I genuinely do not know, especially where computer hardware is concerned. Technology was evolving faster than I could keep up with it even when I did work in IT, and it's even harder to keep up now that I've left the industry. I find it easier to ask questions about the things I don't know if they already assume I'm a dill who knows absolutely nothing, and I don't mind if that means they end up explaining something that I already know. I'd rather they did that than skip over something because they think I already know it. (Gee, I hope my friends don't read this review. I can already hear them snorting, "What act? You ARE a dill who knows absolutely nothing!")

The second reason is that pretending to know nothing can work as a very good BS detector if a salesperson is telling you something that simply isn't true. Rather like how a food critic will ask a waiter to translate a particular term on the menu, when the critic already knows full well what it means.

And the third reason is to see how patient they are. I figure, there are people out there who really do know absolutely nothing about computers - who've never been near a computer in their life - but who want to buy a computer so they can email the grandkids, or do their banking online, or whatever. I want to know which computer stores and ISPs are prepared to take the time to help such people. I want to know which stores have salespeople who are not going to sneer at these customers or laugh at them behind their backs. So I don't mind pretending to be such a customer if it will serve the greater good.

So far, TECS has been very satisfactory. I entered the store, found a salesman, and said that I'd never bought a home computer before (which was true - my previous ones had been friends' cast-offs), that I didn't know what computer and multifunction printer to buy (half true - I had a general idea, but needed help with the specifics), but that I did have a clear idea of what I wanted to use them for (also true). The salesman, Paul, listened patiently, asked me lots of questions, listened to my answers, and ended up recommending items that so far have proved absolutely satisfactory for my needs, at a price that was acceptable. I must have accidentally given him the impression that I'd never used a computer AT ALL, because he did say that he wouldn't be able to teach me how to use Windows. I almost gave myself away by laughing, but I stifled it and hastily explained that that was OK, I could probably figure it out for myself or ask a friend.

Some weeks later the printer was malfunctioning and I needed to contact TECS, and again the service was very good. Everything has worked fine ever since.

In summary, I can recommend them if you are a genuine novice. My experience suggests they won't rip you off as far as price is concerned, and that they will treat you with courtesy and patience. I am very pleased with their service, and I wouldn't hesitate to buy my next computer from them.

This farmers' market takes place on the first Saturday of each month. It's one of a dozen or so that are run by a group called Regional Farmers Markets. Most are in Melbourne, but some are in locations as far away as Inverloch, Phillip Island, Daylesford and Geelong. (See their website for a calendar showing which market is on which date.) The only one I've been to so far is Bundoora, so I can't comment on the others, but I've been very impressed by what I've seen at Bundoora, over a period of about six months or so, and I plan to investigate a couple of the others.

They sell pretty much anything that you can eat and drink. Fruit and vegetables, bread and cakes, fresh pasta, meat, fish, eggs, jams and preserves, dips and spreads, pies, samosas, dumplings, pizzas, and I can't remember what else.

The ethos of this organisation is spelled out in detail on their website, and I won't repeat it in full here, except to sum it up by saying that they insist that produce has been grown by the stallholder themselves, in Victoria, or has had significant value added to it by the stallholder in Victoria.

This ethos has been borne out by my conversations with a couple of stallholders. For example, I was enjoying some plum jam at one stall, and I asked the stallholder whether he ever makes cherry jam when summer comes around. Cherry jam is all but impossible to find in supermarkets, and I'm always on the lookout for it. No, he said, for the simple reason that he doesn't grow cherries. Technically he could buy the cherries and make the jam - it would fall under the rubric of "significant value added" - but he prefers to make jam from things he has grown himself - plums, apricots, strawberries, and so on. I was disappointed that I'd have to continue my search for this elusive jam, but impressed that he's abiding by the spirit of the rules.

Wherever possible, the stallholders will allow you to taste their produce. Take advantage of this; you may discover something new and wonderful. I was heading to the salmon stall to buy my regular supply of smoked salmon. "Ever tried gravlax?" asked the stallholder. No, I hadn't - and was transported with delight when I tasted it. I thought smoked salmon was the food of the gods, but gravlax is even better. I polished off the last of it yesterday, and I'm now desperate to get my hands on some more.

Shopping at this market has forced me to confront head-on the concept of seasonality. I get a bit complacent about seasonality, and I'm sure I'm not the only one - it's probably fairly common among inner-urbanites such as myself. Sure, I know that fruit and vegies have their seasons. I know that strawberries, red capsicum and tomatoes are at their best in summer. I know that if you buy them in the middle of winter, they've probably been flown in from a thousand or more kilometres away and they're not as good as they'll be in summer. But I want tomatoes in July, dammit, and I'm going to have them! At a farmer's market, you can insist and pout and stamp your foot all you like, but you're not going to find produce out of season. Get used to it, and accept whatever it is that they do have to offer this month, because it's guaranteed to be at its peak, and therefore as good as it can get.

Here's an example. There's a terrific cake stall called Flavour Station that sells loaf cakes in various flavours - banana, orange, carrot - but my absolute favourite is the mandarin cake. I tried it on my first visit several months ago, and was immediately hooked. It has the most gloriously intense mandarin flavour, completely different from an orange cake. For several months I've been buying two mandarin loaf cakes at a time, and freezing one of them to try and make it last until the next market. At the November market I showed up at Flavour Station. No mandarin cakes. Plenty of others, though. "Sold out of the mandarin?" I asked. "Nope. Mandarins are out of season," replied James, the stallholder. Whaaaaaaat? B-b-b-but I want my mandarin cake! I've been counting the days until I could buy one! Trying not to sound hysterical, I asked when they would be in season again. "We'll probably start baking mandarin cakes again round about next May." Next MAY? That's forever! How can I wait until May? "Cheer up," he said. "Try some carrot cake." And I did, and it was excellent, so I bought some. It helped assuage my unhappiness slightly. In spite of my disappointment, I'm impressed: Flavour Station probably could find out-of-season mandarins from somewhere if they really wanted, but the mandarins wouldn't have the depth of flavour that fruit has when it's at its peak, and they're not prepared to compromise the quality of their cakes. If it's not seasonal, forget it.

So to get the most out of shopping at Bundoora Market, or any farmers' market for that matter, forget about making a list. Just go, and embrace whatever it is they have to sell at that time. If you find something you adore, don't assume it will be there next month. Just enjoy it while it lasts.

UPDATE 7 Jan 2012: I visited the market today, and this is the first time I've ever been disappointed with it. It's January, and I expected that a few stallholders would be away on holidays, but since the organisers were going ahead with the market anyway, I did expect a reasonable complement of stalls. I didn't expect that only about half the usual number, if that, would be participating. The turnout was dismal, frankly, so much so that I was wondering if it had even been worth the drive to Bundoora. Normally the stalls are lined up cheek by jowl with each other. This time, they were standing forlornly far apart, like the occasional tooth in a very gappy smile.

The ever-reliable Green Eggs were there. So were a couple of fruit and vegetable stalls, including a stall with exceptionally good-looking (and probably good-tasting) tomatoes, which I'd normally buy but this time I didn't because I'm growing my own this year and they're just about ripe. There were some other stalls too, and depending on exactly what you go to the market for, you may have been satisfied with what was on offer.

In my case, I wasn't happy, because many of my favourite stalls were missing. Flavour Station wasn't there. Gravlax Guy wasn't there. Potato Woman wasn't there. Eggplant Chutney Guy wasn't there. These are the main reasons I visit Bundoora Market. I ended up buying:
* my usual eggs from Green Eggs: always super-fresh and excellent value.
* some smoked trout: a good example of its type, but alas, not in the same category as gravlax.
* some pre-boiled mixed gnocchi (potato, pumpkin and spinach) which looked good but turned out to be truly horrible. Heat and serve, said the instructions; more like heat, serve, taste, and throw in bin. Gnocchi should be fluffy; these were dense and heavy, and the pumpkin ones in particular were so dense I could have used them for paperweights. Will avoid this stall in future.
* an exceptionally good Portuguese tart. See my separate review of that, under Amici Bakery.
Overall it was a disappointing experience. I normally fill between three and four shopping bags; this time I came away with barely half a bag filled.

I'll be back in February, when (it is to be hoped) they'll be back at full strength, and I'll continue to be a regular for the rest of the year, but I think I'll give next January's market a miss.

UPDATE 18 April 2012: I did go back in February (and March, and April), and I'm pleased to be able to say that the market is now back at full strength, and is as good as ever.

There's a new stall (or at least one that I haven't noticed before) which is also worth a mention: Plough to Plate Fine Foods. They make an excellent relish called ajvar, the recipe for which comes from the Balkans. (I will leave it to others to squabble over precisely which culture can lay claim to originating it. A google search threw up claimants for Serbian, Croatian and Macedonian origin on the first page of results alone. I imagine it's like the Aussies and the Kiwis arguing over who invented pavlova.) Anyway, Plough to Plate's ajvar is terrific; a lovely, velvety, charry, roasty red capsicum relish, with a powerful wallop of garlic. I have it on crackers, on sandwiches, on sausages, on pies and pasties, on pasta, and have even been known to eat a spoonful straight out of the jar. Addictive stuff.

UPDATE 7 Oct 2013: Visited again two days ago for the first time in several months. Alas, Amici bakery seems to have gone. There was a baker's stall in the place where Amici used to be, but no signage, and its Portuguese tart was pretty ordinary - nowhere near as good as Amici's.

Plough to Plate also seems to have vanished. But Flavour Station is still there, and Green Eggs, and New Leaf Preserves, and Spud Sisters, and several other stalls that make this market well worth a visit.

I give this business a cautious thumbs-up. They did exactly what was expected of them, but the job was quite small. To really know how good or bad a builder is, the review needs to be based on a job of substantial size, such as a house extension.

I didn't choose this firm; my insurance company did. My back fence blew over during a storm. I propped it up, but it was still leaning drunkenly into the right-of-way at the rear of my property, and anything more than a stiff breeze would cause it to sway a bit. The council (how do they find out about these things so quickly? Do they have people prowling around back alleys?) issued a notice that I needed to get it repaired or else.

So I called my insurance company, and they sent round this builder. I don't know what the quote was, because I only paid the excess, which was $100. But it's reasonable to assume the quote was acceptable, and good value for money, otherwise the insurance company wouldn't be using this firm.

This is a paraphrased summary of the scope of works:

Rear paling fence (not shared) at 7m long x 1.8m high:
* remove entire damaged rear paling fence and posts...
* supply and install 3 * new timber posts...
* supply and install new timber kickers, rails and palings...
* prepare and paint the entire internal (house facing side)...

General:
* Clean out all working areas and tip waste.

You may notice that the fence isn't particularly long. That's because part of the back fence is taken up by a rollerdoor, which was undamaged in the storm. The builder was only required to replace the rest of the fence.

Between the builder and the insurance company, the job ended up taking quite a while to schedule, and I don't really know who was dragging their heels here. I got quite nervous at the delay, and in the end was forced to go to the council and tell them it wouldn't be completed by the deadline they'd specified, but it was in progress. (They were quite reasonable about it.)

When the day finally arrived, the builder arrived right on time, and did the job over two days, exactly according to requirements. He avoided trampling too much on my garden, and he left the area neat and tidy when he finished.

I was satisfied with the service, and would hire him again to build a fence. For a more substantial job, however, I'd want to see some references from happy customers first.

Canals sets the standard that every fishmonger should aspire to. Their seafood is of superb quality, and absolutely fresh. If it isn't, they don't sell it.

What I particularly like is that they'll offer honest and knowledgeable advice on what to buy and how to cook it. Want to make a fish curry? Seafood paella? Thai fish cakes? Crumbed fish? Something stir-fried with noodles? Tell the staff what you want to make, and they'll help you select the right seafood for it, in the right quantity, and offer you advice on cooking it.

Their suggested fish today might be different from what they suggested last week, because it depends on what was best and freshest at the wholesale fish market this morning.

I've always felt that their advice is honest. I've never once had the impression that they were just trying to get rid of whatever fish they had a surplus of. They have a reputation as one of Melbourne's finest fishmongers, and they care too much about that reputation ever to sell anything that's less than perfect to their customers.

On rare occasions I've tried a new type of fish that I haven't found entirely to my taste, but that's to be expected if you're going to be a bit adventurous - you're not going to like everything. In no way is it a reflection on the quality of their fish. More often when I've tried a new type of fish that they've recommended, it has turned out to be delightful.

Canals is not the cheapest fishmonger you'll ever find. Almost certainly you can find cheaper seafood at the Victoria Market. But that means putting up with the crowds and the shouting. I've never been able to ask advice from anyone at the Vic Market - there are always too many customers waiting behind me. At Canals, you can take all the time you want, to get all the advice you need.